Home > Humor, Travel > A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Waco

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Waco

If you are reading this post, I survived my flight from Houston to Waco. There was another post, programmed to release on Monday, if I had crashed.

Have you ever approached a plane and had the hair on the back of your neck stand up…even a little bit?

I fly a fair amount…enough to probably be considered a “regular” flyer. I am not one to have second thoughts about flying…it’s almost second nature so to speak. However, on the evening of January 27, 2012, that was not the case.

As I exited gate A3D, at George Bush International Airport, to board my plane to Waco, the first thing I noticed about the plane was the logo on the side. The fuselage looked like it had done a mile dash through a grove of oak trees. The only letters I could make out were a “C,” a “G” and an “L.” For the life of me, I could not come up with a company that utilized those letters…I still can’t. I will have to ask when I exit the craft. (The other post said “if I ever exit the craft under my own power”). [ Upon leaving the craft, Krista said it used to be with ‘Colgan Air.’]

As soon as I entered the plane, the flight attendant, Krista, made an announcement: “If your seat is broken (yes, she said “broken”) choose another seat, anywhere.”

Ok, I can understand if a seat is broken, not a major deal. However, Krista proceeded to make the announcement three more times as people were boarding and changing seats. There was not just one, there weren’t two, there weren’t three…no there weren’t four….there were five….yes, count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 broken seats on this plane of 34 seats. I began to seriously wonder what I had gotten myself into.

We were finally all seated and Krista began her routine safety talk….wait a minute…this was anything but routine.

“Please make sure that your seat belt is securely fastened about your waist, by inserting the metal clip into the metal buckle and pulling the loose end firm. This will increase the likelihood of your body remaining in your assigned seat, aiding the response teams in a timely and accurate identification of the bodies when we crash.”

“In the case of a loss of cabin pressure, a plastic bag will drop from above you. Please secure the mask portion of the bag to your face, by placing the elastic strap behind your head and pulling the loose end snug. A mixture of nitrous oxide will begin to flow immediately, even though the bag will not inflate, making your crash experience much more enjoyable.”

“In the case of an emergency landing…oh…never mind, the lights are for the response team to find all the bodies after we crash.”

“Also, in case our pilot decides to head south-east, your seat cushion can be used for a flotation device, if we land in the water, but I wouldn’t trust them…they haven’t been replaced since the plane was built and I noticed several of them missing for some reason.”

“At this time I am supposed to ask you all to turn off your electronic devices until later in the flight. Supposedly they cause some kind of interference and are rumored to have been responsible for the condition of the outside of the aircraft and the broken seats.”

“Please sit back and relax and enjoy your flight to Waco, and thank you for flying _______”

 

Ok..ONLY the part about the seats is true, but I could easily have expected the rest.

It was an uneventful flight, with a smooth take off and landing. I thank the pilots for doing a great job, but have to wonder what they did to deserve an airplane in that condition.

As for the airlines…it really isn’t very good publicity to have aircraft being used that are in such disrepair…in my humble opinion.

This plane kind of reminded me of one I flew in several years ago and one of the emergency exit doors, over the wing, fell in the lap of the lady sitting across from me just after we landed…but that can be saved for another post.

Has anyone else had an interesting flying experience?

Categories: Humor, Travel Tags: , , , , ,
  1. January 27, 2012 at 9:56 PM

    Bahahahaha! QGlad to hear you made it safe!

    • commonsenseagriculture
      January 27, 2012 at 10:08 PM

      Thanks Jodi 🙂 Seems every trip has a story…some just more entertaining than others.

  2. Abby Travis
    January 27, 2012 at 10:06 PM

    Glad you made it there all right!! 🙂

    • commonsenseagriculture
      January 27, 2012 at 10:07 PM

      Thanks Abby! Glad to see you made it safe and sound on your flight too 🙂

  3. January 27, 2012 at 10:07 PM

    I flew from Fresno to Las Vegas once. It was a small plane, in slightly better condition than the one you were on. We of course had to wait for the fog to lift, so I started looking around the plane. As I looked up, I noticed a hole above me, I could see my carry on bag in the over head storage. Upon further inspection, it was a bullet hole! As I looked around I counted 4 more bullet holes throughout the cabin! It made me wonder how recent they were and why on earth they hadn’t taken the time to fix them? I was glad it was a short flight.

  4. January 27, 2012 at 10:12 PM

    Tell Curt, Mike & Gene they all owe you some drinks for that… Be sure you have a few before getting on your return flight too!

  5. January 27, 2012 at 11:15 PM

    I hate flying. But sometimes you just can’t avoid taking a plane. Interesting story? Well, the flight from Guangzhou, China to Manila, Philippines.
    Before even boarding, I had a little conflict with a Chinese guy at check-in, who wouldn’t allow me to board because I didn’t have a return ticket from Manila to any other country. Anyway, I got in. So we were to take off at 1.15AM , but for some reason, we were getting late. When I took my seat, a huge Filipino man came and sat next to me. And just as he sat, he began praying and reading his Bible. Then he turned to me and started to ask questions like “Are you scared of flying?”, “What if we crash?”, “Do you pray?”, etc. It was 1.40AM when I noticed the watch on his hand, and for some reason, they stopped at 1.15 AM. So I got pretty nervous about the whole situation, maybe these are signs that the plane will crash and I have to leave it right now… but I didn’t, and so a bit later we took off. It’s about 2 hours flying, and the plane was shaking badly all the time.. and that Filipino guy kept talking, you know this one is an old plane, see it doesn’t have the screen at the back of the seat, you know it can easily crash, I’m not kidding boy, you know I don’t wanna die, I just had my surgery and I hope to live longer, but we can easily crash right into the sea, can you swim? Just in case you know, if we crash, if you know how to swim you can even survive.

    Thanks God, we softly landed in Manila, but I don’t remember if I ever was that happy to feel the earth under my feet 🙂

  6. T McElroy
    January 27, 2012 at 11:34 PM

    A couple years ago I was on my way back from Lexington, this was a very event filled trip not counting the World Equestrian Show. First thing that happened was getting a ride with the Hungarian vaulting team, needless to say I did not speak much Hungarian and they did not speak much english, Any way we all got in the van and headed for the Horse Park.as we headed down the road the speed increased and we were not stopping at the stop signs, by this time we were cuttting thourgh traiffic and all over the road, Up on the freeway we went at a high rate of speed as we approached our exit we were in the far left lane we cut across the freeway but missed our exit so we had to go to the next exit and turn around and go back,well we made to the Horse Park and when I got out I wanted to fall to the ground and thank God that we made it, but thats not the end of the story. That evening they wanted me to ride back to the hotel with them but I politely declined, so I took the shuttle, On the way back the driver said the brakes felt funny but we made it to the hotel. The next morning the shuttle driver told me that after he dropped me off and was heading back to the Horse Park that the brakes on the bus stopped working and he had to run the bus up an embankment to get it stopped, Then for the end of the story, On the flight home we where getting close to Sacramento and the pilot came on the intercom and said we had clearance to land. but I noticed that we where circling around the Sutter Buttes four or five time then we finally landed as we were getting off the plane, I was in the rear and one of the last to get off, We were walking down the hallway to the Terminal and the pilot was walking out and he said he was sorry about the delay of the landing but they had to get out the Manual to over ride the computer to get the Landing gear to lower and lock in landing postion, I made it home in one piece and it made for an interesting trip

  7. Jim Dunbar
    January 27, 2012 at 11:36 PM

    Hey Jeff, I was on the Board of Directors of the United Agribusiness League and our annual meeting was in Mexico City. I took my girlfriend…now wife. When we departed we sat in the plane and pushed off from the gate in Mexico. We sat for thirty minutes because of some problems. I had the headset dialed to the Captain’s frequency and he said their was a cooling problem with the plane. They got it fixed supposedly. Then he said we need to have this looked at again and called the mechanics back out for another 30 minutes.. Then every thing was apparently right and we taxied to the runway, But the same problem occurred again, and the captain says, “Blah blah blah 737, request routing back to terminal……………………………………………, okay,never mind”. It was not a confidence boost. My wife and I held hands upon launch and praise the lord!

  8. January 28, 2012 at 5:53 AM

    I’m not much of a frequent flier. By that I mean I’ve been on 8 planes, some of which for only 40 minutes. I was flying home Thanksgiving 2010, first plane trip ever, sitting at Dallas Love waiting on my plane to Little Rock. There ended up being a bunch of 70-something guys in overalls and Razorback caps waiting with me, they were a blast and having a good ole time at the airport. Sure made my flight more fun. Last summer I was flying back home from Denver to Houston after spending a week at a ranch, without television or any news. As soon as I got to the airport someone said something about a hurricane in the Gulf and that sure didn’t make me feel comfortable, especially when we were loaded and had to wait for the plane to get more fuel. We ended up with a changed flight path coming into Houston and when we landed it was rough. Apparently the winds off the Hurricane were blowing into Houston and here I am in a tin can trying to get to the ground. After a white-knuckle landing everyone applauded the pilots. And I still had a flight to Little Rock an hour later… Always fun conversations on the flights though. That’s my favorite part.

  9. January 28, 2012 at 6:07 AM

    Thanks for making me smile so “early” in the morning! Glad you didn’t have to use the optional posting.

  10. January 28, 2012 at 6:44 AM

    Very clever, Jeff. I don’t like flying due to my slight claustrophobic feelings. As for fear, I go heli-skiing and if you want to know flying fear, try that – especially when they land on places you can’t imagine even walking on! We are going again in March…wish me luck. They’ve only lost about one guest per year the past 42 years…they don’t give stats on the number of injuries!

  11. January 28, 2012 at 8:06 AM

    Oh my gosh! Just read this, oh my gosh! I think you should drive back to Houston for the flight home. I knew you needed prayer just didn’t know how bad it was. I feel bad for Krista, and the rest of the crew. I’m so glad you made it safe and sound. Hope the rest of your trip goes smoothly. 🙂

  12. January 29, 2012 at 1:31 AM

    Glad you arrived safely!!!

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