A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Waco
If you are reading this post, I survived my flight from Houston to Waco. There was another post, programmed to release on Monday, if I had crashed.
Have you ever approached a plane and had the hair on the back of your neck stand up…even a little bit?
I fly a fair amount…enough to probably be considered a “regular” flyer. I am not one to have second thoughts about flying…it’s almost second nature so to speak. However, on the evening of January 27, 2012, that was not the case.
As I exited gate A3D, at George Bush International Airport, to board my plane to Waco, the first thing I noticed about the plane was the logo on the side. The fuselage looked like it had done a mile dash through a grove of oak trees. The only letters I could make out were a “C,” a “G” and an “L.” For the life of me, I could not come up with a company that utilized those letters…I still can’t. I will have to ask when I exit the craft. (The other post said “if I ever exit the craft under my own power”). [ Upon leaving the craft, Krista said it used to be with ‘Colgan Air.’]
As soon as I entered the plane, the flight attendant, Krista, made an announcement: “If your seat is broken (yes, she said “broken”) choose another seat, anywhere.”
Ok, I can understand if a seat is broken, not a major deal. However, Krista proceeded to make the announcement three more times as people were boarding and changing seats. There was not just one, there weren’t two, there weren’t three…no there weren’t four….there were five….yes, count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 broken seats on this plane of 34 seats. I began to seriously wonder what I had gotten myself into.
We were finally all seated and Krista began her routine safety talk….wait a minute…this was anything but routine.
“Please make sure that your seat belt is securely fastened about your waist, by inserting the metal clip into the metal buckle and pulling the loose end firm. This will increase the likelihood of your body remaining in your assigned seat, aiding the response teams in a timely and accurate identification of the bodies when we crash.”
“In the case of a loss of cabin pressure, a plastic bag will drop from above you. Please secure the mask portion of the bag to your face, by placing the elastic strap behind your head and pulling the loose end snug. A mixture of nitrous oxide will begin to flow immediately, even though the bag will not inflate, making your crash experience much more enjoyable.”
“In the case of an emergency landing…oh…never mind, the lights are for the response team to find all the bodies after we crash.”
“Also, in case our pilot decides to head south-east, your seat cushion can be used for a flotation device, if we land in the water, but I wouldn’t trust them…they haven’t been replaced since the plane was built and I noticed several of them missing for some reason.”
“At this time I am supposed to ask you all to turn off your electronic devices until later in the flight. Supposedly they cause some kind of interference and are rumored to have been responsible for the condition of the outside of the aircraft and the broken seats.”
“Please sit back and relax and enjoy your flight to Waco, and thank you for flying _______”
Ok..ONLY the part about the seats is true, but I could easily have expected the rest.
It was an uneventful flight, with a smooth take off and landing. I thank the pilots for doing a great job, but have to wonder what they did to deserve an airplane in that condition.
As for the airlines…it really isn’t very good publicity to have aircraft being used that are in such disrepair…in my humble opinion.
This plane kind of reminded me of one I flew in several years ago and one of the emergency exit doors, over the wing, fell in the lap of the lady sitting across from me just after we landed…but that can be saved for another post.
Has anyone else had an interesting flying experience?
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